..days when..

...and then there are days, when you wish to withdraw yourself from every action, from every thought and hide yourself where no light can reach...not because you have lost, but because you wish to not care for anything..for anyone...and in those gloomy moments the belief deepens that all notions, all assumptions are nothing but mere fallacy...the core you have built your thought system on has always been dented at a thousand places..dents that cant be undone..thoughts that cant be rebuilt and relations that cant be redone..since they have been nothing but just circumstantial...

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Under an old bridge, one day,

I sat upon by the still waters,

seeking a moment of peace.

Just then a breeze blew ,

displacing all the fallen leaves,

creating ripples in the silent reed.

Then the sun came down,

the waters went dark,

and the silence grew loud

I waited by the bank, to let the shadows pass,

scared as i was to fall in the dark.

But the shadows grew deep and the silence was deafening.

No not peace!

It was the ingress of mocking.

Purgatory

Another day ends…again in a fury
I know no reason…I have no worry
I fear tomorrow…I fear the thought
For it is blank…just some spots

I have no regrets…I have lived it good
Just some confessions…I wish I would
The memories are nice...as they could
The rest I assume…and hide the truth

The Midnight Bloom...

It’s the midnight bloom,
With smudged hopes, but stormed devise;
I stare in beyond.
The cold emptiness is oh so drawing;
And now, my memories and dreams all look alike.

It’s the midnight bloom,
I stand aloof….

It’s the midnight bloom,
I am still as a tomb, but my mind is stormed;
And I am unable to battle out.
The gust of wind is not so sharp;
Yet the tears fall out and burn the wrath.

It’s the midnight bloom,
I shriek aloud….

Disconnected

The feeling of nothingness is dancing around,
I fear moving in, yet drawn…
So close to ruining everything,
And yet I seem to be so pleased...
The fear, the pressure is all gone,
Now, just guilt driving around…
I know what’s right,
But I just do it wrong…
With no attempts, to set things right,
I just move on, to swing with life.

Insignificant

Where do I stand today, amidst the millions of people, amidst the billions of stars, among the trillion little things hovering around me, just to occupy the spot?

I do have my own name, but that’s not enough; I am so little, so far that I don’t even matter.
I don’t belong to anyone and nothing is mine...yet the selfish me cant tear away from the desires of time.
If nothing is real but all a dream then why do I try so hard to escape this realm?

escape

At the corner of a street,
I saw a shadow, that I started to follow,
It went for a mile, and then turned wild,
It went left, it went right, it went haywire, then turned bright,
I followed it everywhere, expecting it to show me the way,
Until I was drowned, in its pool, where I knew I couldn’t stay.

I ran mindlessly, wherever I could find a light,
I knew I had to fight...to survive.

I found a spot…cold, but bright,
And I stood there for a fierce fight.

The lights casted several shadows of me on the ground,
I think, to make me realize…I can’t escape my downs.

I don’t know who I am……..if I am,
I don’t know what is right……..or if there is right,
I don’t know the truth………..if there is any truth.




I know not……..what you know of,
I know not……..of what I do.




I don’t care, I don’t love, I don’t hate,
I am not happy, I am not sad, I am not mad.
I don't wish, I do pray, but I can't stay.

deadlock

Left alone in the dreaded dome,
I hear your voice through the shiny hole
I seek you there, amidst the glow,

No…!! It’s not you on the road….



Your train of thoughts follows me,
I want to run away, but I let it be.
Being with you, is the last thing I want,
And yet I can’t seem to move on.

random

Some days you get up feeling good about yourself, sometimes you feel like a loser, sometimes even when everything is going your way, you just don’t feel right and sometimes nothing in the world can bother you. Its seems now like everyday people walk in and out in some way. Some you wish were gone, and some you want to stop. Everything that was once so dear now becomes absolutely rare. Time changes, so do we all, what never changes is the void within us all. This is not how I wanted to see myself, but again this is how it is supposed to be. Sometimes I fear that maybe I was brought up in fairytale, kept away from the harsh and pain. Now on facing the reality, I wish someone had made me see, the real world, and this bothers me.

To end the day in such a distress is bad enough for anything else; I’d rather slip away in the past.